Why creating a Dad-friendly working culture is good for everyone

The pandemic has revealed stark inequalities, none more so than around the issue of gender. This is particularly true in the domestic realm, as issues like childcare became more pressing when work and home pressures collide.

Some imagined that fathers working from home might mean they had more time for childcare and other domestic duties, and mothers wouldn’t be forced to shoulder the additional care responsibilities.

Research shows that even though parents tended to divide childcare more evenly, at least temporarily, mothers still did more childcare work than fathers. The division of housework remained largely unchanged. Clearly, an unsatisfactory position for women and their careers.

Conservative attitudes to motherhood

But this issue was not a new one. Despite Germany having a generous maternal and parental leave policy, when it comes to employment and motherhood, Germans’ attitudes are far from progressive.

The term "Rabenmutter" leveled against a working mom is one indication.

To many, working mothers are mothers first and workers with careers second. It is not an attitude that ambitious fathers have to deal with.

Nor is this simply a question of sexism, it is also a practical issue. There is a shortage of spots for children in state-subsidized daycare centres. In fact, about 14% of children under three-years-old can’t get one.

Once again, a trigger for women to step back from a career. Needless, to say, single mothers face particularly acute pressures in all scenarios where choosing between home and office is a reality.

What about Dads?

Men face pressures of their own, driving them away from the possibility of a more equitable situation. Yes, companies might offer flexibility and more family-friendly policies and practices, but the actual day-to-day culture might not be so accommodating.

Often, the fear remains that putting family first will leave you behind on the climb up the corporate ladder. As HBR says, the feeling is ‘business doesn’t stop, so neither can I…….Hundreds of people at work are depending on me. I can’t let them down’.

The result is Dads might not take all the paternity leave owing and not prioritise their time away from family and its work over the demands of the workplace.

Unless fathers see family-conscious behaviour being encouraged and adopted by senior leaders, this is unlikely to change.

It must feel right to say, ‘sorry I have to leave this meeting, I must bath my two-year-old.’

The more that leaders show by their own behaviours that is ok to prioritise family over work, the easier it is for colleagues to feel supported when they attempt to do the same thing.

Saying no to work demands

Unsupportive leadership will hide their own parental responsibilities in the pursuit of a ‘always on, always here’ mentality. Clearly, this creates a culture where saying no to work demands is not seen as the done thing, and therefore unlikely to leady to career advancement.

As HBR points out, the more ‘dad-friendly’ the organisation, the better it is for women too, and the wider company.

A man entering a senior position who has played an open and positive parenting role is much more likely to ensure that his organisation has policies, practices and  the all-important culture in place to help others to reap the same rewards.

Avoid the talent drain

Don’t do this, and leaders should not be surprised if they lose talented working dads (and mothers) to companies that have seen the advantages of thinking positively about their working parent workforce.

It takes a certain quality of leader to be honest about their whole life, about their role as a father, a partner, as a carer.

It requires openness, honesty and authenticity, and, yes, a certain amount of confidence and bravery.

Coincidentally, these are the very qualities that are more and more sought out today, in a world of greater collaboration, diversity and change.

It just takes a little vision to realise that what’s good for the whole family can, in the long run, be good for careers and business too.